Shatter Glass by Claiming Your Victories
Victory has got to be one of my favorite words in the English dictionary. Victory connotes winning, achievement, and pride. The problem is, so many women fail to claim their own victories.
I get it. You don’t want your co-workers to think you’re egotistical. You don’t want to draw attention to yourself. You want to avoid coming across as self-centered or vain. But there is way too much at stake here! Not publicly claiming your victories at work is a huge barrier between you and your dream job or the promotion you’re desperate for.
Think about it- when was the last time you publicly took credit for something amazing you did? Not something that “we” as a team did, but something YOU, as the intelligent, hard-working, incredible woman you are, did. Has it been a week? A month? A year? I’ve found that most women rarely speak up when it comes to their own victories. They are happy to share credit with other co-workers or declare what the team achieved, but aren’t comfortable claiming their own victories.
Let’s change this.
The simplest way to start claiming your victories is to start accepting praise. When a boss, teammate, family member, friend, neighbor, dog, gerbil, or really anyone offers you a compliment, simply say, “Thank you.” Don’t add, “I had a great team by my side,” or, “I can’t believe how fortunate I am,” or, “You really think so?” Simply say, “Thank you.” This subtle acceptance of praise goes a long way. It signals that you have accepted your accomplishment as your own, therefore claiming your victory.
Start using “I” instead of “we” when talking about your achievements. When interviewing for a new job, speaking in a team meeting, or making a pitch to your manager, practice using “I” language. I increased traffic on the company website by 27% last year. I completed a marketing audit to determine the effectiveness of the company’s marketing investment. I created a customer loyalty program that boosted retention 12% over the past year. Though this is a subtle shift, it gives you the credit you deserve. It shows your manager or future employer what you, and you alone, have achieved.
Now it’s time to bite the bullet: You simply need to get comfortable articulating what you’ve done well. Most women are well-aware of the high-quality work they’ve produced. Think about your latest project or cluster of tasks around a certain area of your work. Narrow down what you accomplished to summarize it in one sentence. Make sure it’s an “I” statement. Say it aloud to yourself right now. Write it down. Within the next week, say it out loud to at least three people in your workplace, one of them being a manager or superior. Of course, use proper judgment for verbalizing it in the right context and in the right setting. (An easy segue would be when a colleague pops in and asks, “Whatcha working on?”) The important part is that you articulate this accomplishment to others. Make your victory known by speaking it out loud. As you learn to do this over time, your colleagues and supervisors will have a growing mental archive of your accomplishments. Enjoy the moment when you realize the admiration and respect they have for you and your victories.