5 Phrases That Are Holding You Back
Many women unintentionally use words and phrases that minimize their work. And it happens frequently! When this language is used, it takes away any power and authority. It downplays your achievements and hinders you from achieving your goals, rather than propelling you forward.
By eliminating the words and phrases below, you will successfully claim your power at work. There are dozens of others I could add to the list, but the 5 I’ve included here are a good starting point. Though eliminating these words and phrases might seem like a subtle shift, they will make a big impact by making you come across as a more confident, competent leader. Rather than minimize your work, you will claim your power.
Just: “I just wanted to let you know that the final plan was submitted for approval.” Using the word “just” conveys that you don’t want to command too much time or attention. “Just” implies that your words don’t matter as much. It means that they don’t carry weight or importance. That’s bullshit! You know that your words are more than just important, they are critical for the team to hear. Skip the whole “just” part of the sentence and go right into what you want to say.
Say instead: “The final plan was submitted for approval.”
Does that make sense? “The performance data of our latest campaign suggests that we need to implement some strategic changes to improve our marketing efforts. Does that make sense?” Yes, it made perfect sense...until you asked! You are a highly intelligent woman and probably wouldn’t have said something that made absolutely no sense. Asking, “Does that make sense?” implies that either: 1. You’re not sure if you made your point clearly enough OR 2. You need external validation that someone understood what you said.
Say instead: “Let me know if you have any questions.”
Are you able to? “John- are you able to run a report of last week’s new deals?” I frequently hear this phrase spoken by females who are managing people for their first time. It is used as a courteous way of asking someone to do something for you. However, it’s asking them to do it in a completely round-about way that gives away all authority. Of course, people are able to do what you asked! Of course, they CAN do it. You are just uncomfortable asking them to do something for you in a way that might not come across as polite. Combat this by simply telling them what needs to be done in a positive tone of voice.
Say instead: “John- please run a report of last week’s new deals. Thank you.”
Quick: “May I interject real quick?” “Can I add a quick comment to that?” Similar to “just,” quick is another word that conveys that you don’t want to command too much time or attention. It implies that your words aren’t worthy of being listened to for more than a moment. That you want to get them over with quickly. Again, this is bullshit. You are intelligent and your words do matter. You don’t need to rush through them either. Stop minimizing yourself and change your language.
Say instead: “Along with that, _______________.” OR “Additionally, _______________.”
This might not matter/this might not be important: When someone says this to me before they present an idea or opinion, they’ve already lost me. It’s another phrase that indicates either a lack of confidence behind what is being said, or not wanting to fully acknowledge or take credit for it. It plants a seed that whatever comes next, might really not matter! Let your idea speak for itself. Even if you really aren’t sure if it’s important or not, don’t kill the idea before it even has a chance.
Speak your idea with confidence, without the “this might not matter” precursor.