3 Steps to Stop Spreading Yourself Too Thin
Women are excellent multitaskers. Many successful women are also perfectionists. On top of that, we frequently have a hard time saying “no '' to helping others. Simply put, we are people pleasers. This stems from a childhood of being taught to be agreeable, to say yes in order to please others, and to be obedient and polite. While those might have served us well as young girls in school, we are no longer children. As adults, the people-pleasing, perfectionist, multi-tasking behavior that once served us well now leads to a lack of focus, spreading ourselves too thin, and taking our eyes off of the desired result because we’re too busy focusing on unimportant tasks.
So how do we combat years of learned behavior? How do we stop saying “yes” to helping other people without coming across as unhelpful or disinterested? How do we draw healthy boundaries that guide us to our desired result instead of distracting us? How do we stop spreading ourselves too thin and driving ourselves bonkers with the million “to-dos” on our list?
Make subtle behavior shifts to reprioritize your time and energy.
First, you must decide what your top goals and priorities are in life. What are the most important things for you to accomplish? Is it to become a partner at your accounting firm by the age of 40? Is it to be an involved mother, attending all your kids’ sporting events and dance recitals? Is it to work remotely as a digital nomad with the ability to work from anywhere in the world with a WiFi signal? It is absolutely imperative that you are crystal clear about your top priorities in life. In your heart of hearts, what is it that you are trying to achieve more than anything else? Pick the top 3 and write them down. Put them somewhere you will see them daily. Read them out loud to yourself each day. Your actions every single day need to be in line with these top goals. Before you make a commitment with your time, take on a new project, pick up a new hobby, or decide to help a friend out, you need to ask yourself, “Is this helping me achieve one of my top priorities in life?”
Next, make a list of all of the tasks that are on your list for the week, both work and personal. Put a star next to the tasks that you, and only you, must accomplish. Of the tasks that aren’t starred, determine which work-related ones can be delegated to colleagues. Even if it pains you to give up these tasks to someone who might not do it exactly the way you would, it is always worth your sanity to teach them to do it and not worry about it again. Then, decide which personal tasks on your list can be done by someone else in your life. Can your partner get the car washed instead of you? Can you have your groceries delivered by Instacart instead of going to the store? Look at your personal life and determine where you can save your precious time and energy. Although it requires setting boundaries and asking for help, this is what sets you up to deal with only the most important of tasks. When you allow other people in your life to take work off your plate, you will ultimately accomplish your goals with joy and fulfillment.
Lastly, challenge that part of yourself that wants to multitask. Rather than trying to accomplish 6 things at once, stay focused on the present. While you are likely capable of handling multiple things at once, this is a practice that is mentally draining and disintegrates your attention. Stop doing 10 things half-ass, and start focusing on what is MOST important and doing it 100% right. This isn’t easy-- you have likely been multitasking your entire life! Push back against multitasking and know that better results, and your own sanity, will come from focusing your attention.
