Being a People Pleaser is Hurting You
Wanting to help other people isn’t always a bad thing.
However, when putting someone else’s wants and needs comes at the expense of your own, pleasing people can be harmful. And it certainly hurts your leadership capabilities.
Women are particularly more likely to suffer from the disease to please. And really, it’s no surprise: As a young girl in school, you were rewarded for being agreeable, obedient, and polite. You were given gold stars and stickers for staying quiet and following the rules. You were quite literally rewarded for doing what someone else wanted you to do.
As young girls, being a people pleaser may have served you well. In fact, Psychology Today discovered that girls perform better than boys in almost all subjects in school.
However, the same people-pleasing tendencies that served you well as a young girl early in life no longer serve you as an adult woman in the workplace. The need to please may serve you well in the early stages of your career, but it will impede you as you move higher up and erode your capacity to demonstrate leadership.
How being a people pleaser might negatively affect you:
You do too much for other people when they want your help or assistance, which spreads you too thin and you lose focus from your big picture.
You say “yes” to attend everything, leaving you feeling exhausted and worn out. The demands of your family start to consume you.
Your happiness and sense of self are affected by what others think. People pleasers can be disproportionately upset if someone is unhappy with them.
You struggle with saying “no” to both work and personal requests, leading to burnout and lack of motivation.
The need to be agreeable reduces chances that you take risks or voice a differing opinion.
As a female leader, overcoming the disease to please is crucial for you to set healthy boundaries, avoid burnout, prioritize the bigger picture, take risks, and focus on what you truly want to achieve in your career and your life.
Breaking the cycle of people-pleasing will improve your leadership skills, allow you to focus on what’s really important, stop caring as much about others’ reactions to your work, and increase your overall energy and joy.
Listen to your inner voice, speak up and assert yourself, and remember that you can’t always please everyone… so be true to yourself and act in alignment with your values and priorities.
