One Tip to Improve Your Relationships
Relationships can be hard. Whether it’s a spouse, partner, friend, co-worker, or family member, relationships require work. All relationships need care and attention in order for them to be healthy and long-lasting.
Success in relationships all boils down to one thing: communication.
The root cause of conflict in communication frequently isn’t what IS said, it’s often what ISN’T being said. When people communicate, we tend to make all sorts of assumptions that fill in the gaps for what isn’t being said. This leads to misunderstandings, arguments, hurt feelings, resentment, or further communication breakdowns.
My tip today is to use simple questions to help you gather information about someone’s specific needs, desires, or feelings.
Specificity helps resolve the misunderstandings that arise from assumptions, paving the way for appreciative, honest communication that builds connection.
Here are 4 types of Specifying Questions you can use.
What?
When?
How?
Who?
For example, if someone says, “It is uncomfortable.”
We don’t know what the “it” that they’re talking about. We usually make assumptions about what “it” is, and then respond based on our assumptions. However, our assumptions are often wrong. So, our job is to ask one of the 4 types of questions to get more specific. For example:
“What specifically is uncomfortable?”
“When does it make you feel uncomfortable?”
By being specific in your questioning, you can get past assumptions and build on your relationships without misunderstandings.
